This Mighty Heart Attack

This one's supposed to be an emo song, but looks like the band enjoys it. LoLz

But I love the song. Enjoy! =)

This Mighty Heart Attack by Us-2 Evil-0 @ Yahoo! Video

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The Mighty Heart Attack

By Us-2 Evil-0

When I saw your eyes my heart capsized, you were a vision

Then I came to know you also starred in television

How the hell am I supposed to ignore the facts and act so fast?

How the hell am I supposed to contain this mighty heart attack?

Because I realized we can’t disguise you’re more than human

Now it won’t suffice cant compromise a lesser woman

Can’t apologize or tell you twice coz I’m not handsome

I can’t just surmise that you’re content with your brand new boyfriend

How the hell am I supposed to ignore the facts and act so fast?

How the hell am I supposed to contain this mighty heart attack?

You know by now it’s over, don’t you

Ahaa ahaa ahaa

And you know by now it’s over don’t you

Ahaa ahaa ahaa

Now’s the painful part but it’s a start and yes I did try

He liked you a lot but all for naught I guess its goodbye

How the hell am I supposed to ignore the facts and act so fast?

How the hell am I supposed to contain this mighty heart attack?

snippet 9

i should be offline temporarily
when to go back - i still do not know
but for sure i will be

=)

!*

now it feels like everyone are quite far from where i stand now

i cannot feel anyone's presence, i cannot feel anyone's faces

no matter how much i try to be close, she still wants to move farther

for every step forward i take, there's two steps backward she makes

well, that's what i just feel

i hope that's not the reality

present declares my detachment to her - i can feel the freedom now

i may be happy, coz i can go back to my past

but looks like it's hard to do things that way

i've done things i must not do to her

i let her cry - the worst thing i did

now i'm the one who wants to cry for her

it feels like i don't want to talk about things like this

but it seems like i have to

sorry

.

snippet 8

just read my previous posts in this blog site
and i concluded i have a sharp mind
still

.

!&

cannot wait for the day to come

i just asked her to go out with me
this was actually our second time going out
after our first date [obviously]
last last last year [you read that right]

i wonder what would happen
would this one be another disaster date
just like what happened last time?
or could this be a successful one
at last?

i cannot wait for this day
but, as people always say, patience is a virtue

i believe this would be a long day for me [or maybe for her as well]
coz i want to tell her everything
and everything means everything

hope nothing would change after i tell her everything
and if there are changes, i hope it would be a better one

i hope

.

snippet 7

i wont push myself to let anyone feel my existence
not anymore
that's a promise
i think

.

!^

another realization

im the only one pushing everything to turn out just the way i expect them to be

got it? hahaha =)

lately [or i think even before], i always am the one doing everything
i act like a leader who would do the task once it hasn't been done
im a kind of a person who dont feel like ignoring everything that are not assigned to me
that's why i do such tasks not assigned to me
so that the project would be done the faster way

i think i have to change myself now
just a bit
i need to be more strict to myself [not to others]
i will try to do only the things i ought to do
i wont do such tasks not designed for me to do

i wont push myself to drive a car simply because i dont know how to drive
i wont push myself to belong to the group because i belong to another group
i wont push myself to act like a special one because i only am normal
just like you

.

!%

let me ask you a question:

is there a need to ignore some people just to forget everything with you?

i think that is a big no

as in NO

there's no way you could totally forget someone who went to your life

since that person is already insode your little memory

i don't believe with the idea that

"to forget someone totally, absence is the best way"

because

"the more you do not see the person, the more you think of that"

why not face the person instead?

and put effort of treating that one as a normal friend of yours?

time would tell, without noticing it

the one in front of you talking nonsense things, just like your other friends

is the one you want to forget before

for those who did not get it, what i mean here is like

"face the problem, not avoid it"

.

Love or Friendship

the most popular piece, i think
maybe because this one has the most number of comments
it's either they can relate to it
or simply because they are my friends
hahaha =)

anywayz, here is the piece i made during my 2nd yr
hope you like it as well
=)

.

---

Love or Friendship


it was just a secret of liking her before
for it would be unacceptable if many would know
i was simply a secret lover at first
and not telling how i like her
it was nothing for her while with me
it’s like an ordinary day for her to forget
but for me, it’s another memory
that whith her, i should not diminish..

but now that she knew me a lot
and our friendship has expand
i decided not to tell her
what i feel before
but the OWL has entered our life
and my plans has been out
because he told her the secret
that was supposed to be mine

now i dont know what to do
for he stole this close friend of mine
he is not a traitor
but he did a mistake to us

i want to exit this part
in my life between friendship and love
for another girl in my life
told me "she does not deserve mine"..

!*

my very first blog site has now come to an end, i think

i cannot log in to that account already
i forgot the password, and even the email to where i registered it

and since this one is my next "personal" blog
i will be posting again everything here

well, looks like this one will be updated again
=)

.

snippet 6

the more i try to forget about her, the more i silently hear her voice

sounds funny, right? but it's somewhat true

.

!$

don't expect too much from people around you
no matter how much you do good

the saying is really true after all
"do good without expecting returns"

wanna prove it? i'll tell you a story then

i believe i'm helping almost all people that needs help
with all my ability to help
even breaking my scheduled time just to accomodate them
that's how i am willing to help

i may say i'm not expecting returns from them
but i'm expecting that they could, at least, help me in their own little ways
whenever i need help

but that doesn't work
i've been currently under a minor problem, i believe
yet they can't really help me
for some reasons i even dont know
if it's either they really cant, or they really dont want to

as what the song said,
"kung ayaw may dahilan, kung gusto palaging merong paraan"
-
"if you don't want there are reasons, if you want there's always a way"

.

!#

it's alright, i'm ok
i think GOD can explain

looks like songs are giving me ideas on how to deal with her

oh well, looks like i have to let go
or maybe i'm just overreacting

but trying to think of our situation
i cant court her the way i do before

maybe i should stop thinking of her the way i think about her
and better change my priorities to my personal ones

that's why i want to give an end to this thing
maybe a stop or just a pause
i just want to give time

oh well
i hope she would react in a ppositive way as she receives this letter

.

!@

Tonight is the night of my "hell" days
I accepted the "part time" work, although it's from 12mn to 10am
Good thing the moderator allowed me to be out by 9am (to attend my school) =)

This means that I'll be out of my home by 11pm, and go home by 2pm,
and that would happen if and only if I will go home after class

Oh well
Looks like you can see me looking dull again
and have those creepy eyebags that would look like cheekbones
hahaha =)

Wish me luck! =)

.

snippet 5

i'm in love

that's all

thank you

.

!!

just went home after the party

oh, not home

took a sleepover, whould i say

i'm here in indonesia again

since the apartment is nearer than the house

=)

anywayz

looks like i feel a bit envy with her

she's so smart that i can feel the gap between us

i can feel the difference between us

and it's a lot wider difference than i have experienced

looks like the confidence is fading

now i'm doubting to continue or not

all i have to do is make everything stable

and improve myself for her to recognize me

she's still here, but i'm not sure if i'm there

oh well

wish me luck

.

snippet 4

I love you
I love you
I love you

If only I can say this to you in person
*sigh*

But looks like
you're my first sacrifice

Yes, letting go is the worst, they may say
But I'm not letting go
I'm just giving you time
And so do I

.

)

I'm awake
I'm awake

What a day, should I say
After all those dramatic things that girl did, she just simply said "sorry"
As easy as that!?!? My oh my
Oh well, it couldn't help
I'm a guy who accepts all, I think
And try to change everything to a nicer outlook, I think

But the reality is still there - most of my friends will leave the city
And go for an adventure of luck and achievement
And explore the new world of after school

Many have told me "you're supposedly be with them"
But we can't help it
past is past, reality is here
I'm not planned to graduate this year

Looks like this is one of the things I must accept
and make some actions to improve myself
I won't allow my current situation to ruin my future
I must make better moves before it's too late
I won't allow the reality to ruin my life
I will, and I must, do anything to change everything
Even if sacrifices are needed

.

(

another sleepless night
i mean
another night i cannot sleep

i dont know, but looks like i've been too depressed with the current situation
in general

looks like i have to focus on my jobS now, and not think of any other things
but i really want to take the summer class

and i believe i can manage the time
and i know i can manage the time
and i can manage the time
and i have the time

i am an ambitious guy with a high-level pride, higher than anyone i know
i want to make things flow the way i want to, even though it's impossible
that's why i'm depressed

oh well
looks like i cannot do anything as of now
but to pray for our safety
and the consistency of my current job
as i am the current father of the family

.

Whisper, I Love You

No joke, I really love the song
Just ignore the commercial =)
focus on the song itself

Also, I love the song not only because Kim Chiu is my crush [ not Gerald =)) ]
but also because I love the lyrics
specially the first lines

I am still coward to say everything to her directly
that's all
=)

Anyways, I hope you would enjoy this song, too
You may download the song at the right side of this blogsite

Happy listening! =)

.

---

Whisper, I Love You
Kim Chiu & Gerald Anderson

Why, why do I want to do everything for you?
And why, why do I feel I always want to be with you?
My dream is to hold you in my arms
For only your picture is in my hands
I hope that I can be with you
Brave enough to whisper, "I love you..."

Hey I'm (I'm)
So glad we're friends (So glad)
Your true comfort never ends (Comfort never ends)
And I'm (I'm)
So glad you're here (So glad)
With you there's nothing to fear

I can feel a magic in your wings
I can fly
Just do anything
I can be myself with you (I can be myself with you)
Can I just whisper, "I thank you?"

Every day in every way I only want to be with you
Every day in every way I want to whisper, "I love you..."
I'm sure that you're the one for me
Ohh (Ohh)
I'm sure that you're the best for me

And why, why can't you see
That I'm so in love with you? (So in love)
Why (Why?)
Why not say yes? (Yes)
So I can be much closer to you
I'll even run around the world
I will swim across the sea just so I can be with you
Near enough to whisper, "I love you..."

Every day in every way I only want to be with you
Every day in every way I want to whisper, "I love you..."
Every day in every way I only want to be with you

Whisper, "I love you..."

Whisper I Love You

---

*

it's still early
early in the morning
yet i'm still awake
i dont know why
maybe i'm just a bit worried
worried about everything

too many "what if"s enter my mind

what if
i cannot enroll this sem (due to some financial problems) ?
my current boss will fire me ?
i cannot get a stable job (which would result to her "no" answer) ?
everything i am thinking of would be the other way around ?
what if ?

i really do not know what to do if all my "what if"s would happen
i would rather die
=(

HELP!! anyone ?!?

=(

.

&

it's morning, early in the morning (as usual)

planning to sleep later, after the uploads :)

anywayz, just wanna talk about her

yes, that girl =)

it's nice to see that we just texted for hours

and she reminded me of my habit during my first year in college life

i'm not that pc addict by that time, so i always hold my cellphone

to check for new messages almost every minute (no joke)

how nostalgic :' (

but past is past - i know

i have no reason to remember them all

now i just reminisce the things i do before, not the things happened =)

and i love my life now, maybe because i'm more mature this time

i gained more knowledge (although it made my brain rough) =)

and this time, all i can say is

i love her

.

snippet 3

i just love my saturday!

although no date happened, we met (at least)
and join her in her way back home
she did not allow me to enter their house, but rather let me go for a joyride only
but that's ok
i mean
very OK
rather than not with her in her way back

*pump*

=)

.

^

i went home by almost 1 am, and have no idea about what to do
im expecting of being sleepy by 4am (as usual)
i want to do something, that could be more useful (aside from this blog)
i want to earn money
=)

actually, im doing some projects for other persons (it-related projects, to be specific)
and im enjoying them - to be honest
i enjoy doing projects like those without any payment to receive from them
i just need a treat from them - dinner of breakfast treat would be good enough

but my parents always ask me about these things i am doing
they always ask me about these works (since they are overnight)

i would simply say " im just helping them "
because i know they wouldn't understand me if ill say " i just love to do it "

you might even not understand me, but i do
i do love doing stuffs like these, with or without payment
i want to gain experiences and knowledge
since i have no time to review them back later

i'm too busy with my current work, so i have no time to review everything from the top
and i am treating these way of helping them as a self-review
so that i don't need much review later
=)

.

$

just wanna tell you a story
a very good story
that you must not follow =)

i received my task for this week, and it has five subtasks
im already done with the other three (four, actually - i just did it hours ago)

i also did a draft for the other one left

this one thing is the final task that my boos gave me
so i read the instructions, word by word,
and reread them, and reread them, and reread them
to make sure that i'll be doing the right one

i did the first draft, and read them to check
i reread the instructions and relate it to the output i made

looks like i did a wrong one
so i decided to restart from scratch and do the reasearch again
so quick i did it for less than an hour
and then submitted the document

a day after, he sent me a reply email, concerning about the outputs i submitted
he has no problem about the other four

except for the final task

he just simply said, "that's not the one i'm expecting of"

then he explained the task further
and i said, ok
i simply said, i understood now
i'll be finishing this task by monday

then sunday night (today), the night before the deadline
i decided to review the final task
if i can do it this night

and after all my efforts did
after all my rereading of the instructions
i just realized

the first draft i made was the right thing he is expecting!

what a shame
i don't know if i have to laugh or cry
badtrip

the worse thing is, i did not create any backup copy of that first draft!

how's that?

.

snippet 2

i don't know why
but lately, i sleep early morning and wake up by afternoon
i know this is my usual lifestyle then =)
but not like now, which is almost everyday

anyone, help

.

#

now what?

it's heart's day already
yet i heard nothing from her

looks like it's better not to think about it, rather than not to expect much
although i cannot escape from expectations

i dunno what's in my mind, but i can see flashes of what would probably happen
and these flashes, unfortunately, do not come true
always

oh well
this is life
expectations are allowed, but not meant to be

=====

happy hearts day to all of you guys

good thing people here in indonesia are sleeping
i can write as many as i can
:)

.

snippet 1

just a realization

the more in a group are, the harder it would be stronger;

the lesser participants in a group are, the closer the bond to each other could be

just like in our* division

i did not actually see group 1** in a powerhouse bonding

unlike group 2** and group 3** (each group is composed of roughly tem persons) that usually go out together, bonded, as a whole group, not as small groups

-------

* i will be back to our division, and i know they would accept me - with open arms
** simply put, it's just an alias

.

@

it's almost 12am
kinda bored
goo thing i'm done with my work
=)
im planning to do the work for tomorrow, so that i can wake up late
but i prefer doing it tomorrow
=)

anywayz
two days after would be valentine's day
yet i have no words from her, whoever you might think she may be

it's not that i'm expecting her to be free by that day, because she is too busy in her final months in college life

yes. she is a graduating student
good thing for her

waaaaaaaaaaah

now i miss her

tsk3

.

!

hello guys!
this is my first post!
however, this post is nonsense
'coz i just want to put something here
hahaha

anywayz

this would be my personal diary blog
my apologies if you sometimes dont know who am i talking to
also
im trying not to put "period"
except for the last line

got it?
ahahaha

oh well

it's very early still
early in the morning
and yet i have too many things to do
:)

hope i can put something here tomorrow

thanks folks!
:)

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